1
00:00:05,520 --> 00:00:10,007
Uh. Sam, do you mind
asking Jay to move to the couch?

2
00:00:10,032 --> 00:00:11,778
Okay. Why?

3
00:00:11,844 --> 00:00:12,938
What?

4
00:00:12,963 --> 00:00:15,221
Sass just came in and
he wants you to move seats?

5
00:00:15,246 --> 00:00:17,402
Well, for about six minutes
every afternoon, that chair

6
00:00:17,469 --> 00:00:22,197
is bathed in a shaft of light
and it feels really nice.

7
00:00:22,428 --> 00:00:24,059
We don't have a lot going on, Sam.

8
00:00:24,125 --> 00:00:26,422
He likes the shaft of light.

9
00:00:27,420 --> 00:00:28,819
Sure, buddy. Go for it.

10
00:00:28,884 --> 00:00:30,216
Yes!

11
00:00:32,046 --> 00:00:34,842
Oh.

12
00:00:34,909 --> 00:00:36,973
Oh, crap...

13
00:00:37,039 --> 00:00:38,895
Too late. I got the shaft.

14
00:00:38,920 --> 00:00:41,067
Damn it. I snooze-eth and lose-eth.

15
00:00:41,133 --> 00:00:45,288
Sass, I'll give you
ten back rubs for the seat.

16
00:00:45,313 --> 00:00:46,478
I'll make it 20.

17
00:00:46,503 --> 00:00:47,823
That's a pretty generous offer.

18
00:00:47,889 --> 00:00:50,660
100 back rubs!

19
00:00:50,685 --> 00:00:52,050
You got yourself a deal.

20
00:00:53,148 --> 00:00:55,544
I'm sorry, what is going on? Back rubs?

21
00:00:55,611 --> 00:00:56,893
You don't know about the back rubs?

22
00:00:56,918 --> 00:00:58,582
How does she not know
about the back rubs?

23
00:00:58,606 --> 00:01:00,870
Honestly, I try to shut a
lot of this ghost stuff out.

24
00:01:00,937 --> 00:01:02,534
You don't deserve this power.

25
00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:04,697
Back rubs are like our ghost currency.

26
00:01:04,764 --> 00:01:08,724
We can't handle money, so centuries ago
we decided on back rubs.

27
00:01:08,791 --> 00:01:10,954
The problem is, no one
can compete with Hetty.

28
00:01:11,021 --> 00:01:12,352
Through a combination

29
00:01:12,419 --> 00:01:14,283
of shrewd bargaining
and a general disdain

30
00:01:14,308 --> 00:01:15,839
for physical touch...

31
00:01:15,864 --> 00:01:17,162
- Hmm.
- ...which leads her

32
00:01:17,187 --> 00:01:18,584
to never cash them in,

33
00:01:18,609 --> 00:01:21,505
Hetty has amassed a vast
wealth of back rubs.

34
00:01:21,572 --> 00:01:24,172
It's not fair. Hetty's
constantly outbidding me.

35
00:01:24,197 --> 00:01:26,165
I've only been dead for 20 years.
I don't have the capital.

36
00:01:26,231 --> 00:01:28,461
Well, Trevor,
that's just how the world works.

37
00:01:28,528 --> 00:01:31,090
You're new money and you always will be.

38
00:01:31,157 --> 00:01:34,784
In the meantime,
it is I who gets the shaft.

39
00:01:34,851 --> 00:01:38,717
And, let me tell you, it feels so good.

40
00:01:45,181 --> 00:01:49,280
And here's your change, $1.50.

41
00:01:49,347 --> 00:01:50,814
Enjoy your blender.

42
00:01:50,881 --> 00:01:52,515
No returns.

43
00:01:52,581 --> 00:01:55,615
Hey, man, could you go
a little lower on this lamp?

44
00:01:55,681 --> 00:01:59,806
Wish we could, but we didn't
get rich by giving things away.

45
00:01:59,831 --> 00:02:02,832
No, you got rich by inheriting
all my money when I died.

46
00:02:02,899 --> 00:02:05,632
Henry, I think we have
a live one in cookware.

47
00:02:06,733 --> 00:02:08,466
Hey, that's my Jell-O mold.

48
00:02:08,533 --> 00:02:10,933
Put that down.
That is a family heirloom!

49
00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:13,734
Hey, Jay, do you see
that guy over there? He's dressed

50
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:15,268
like one of your Ren fair buddies.

51
00:02:15,334 --> 00:02:17,635
The only thing I see is a cheapskate

52
00:02:17,660 --> 00:02:19,158
with a mustache and a fanny pack.

53
00:02:19,183 --> 00:02:21,502
Oh, my God, he's a Viking ghost.

54
00:02:21,527 --> 00:02:22,861
Thor's gonna have so many questions.

55
00:02:22,886 --> 00:02:24,620
I have to go talk to him.

56
00:02:24,645 --> 00:02:27,112
Excuse me. May I use
your restroom, please?

57
00:02:27,137 --> 00:02:30,337
I'm sorry,
it's for paying customers only.

58
00:02:30,404 --> 00:02:33,272
Okay, uh, Jay, just buy the lamp.

59
00:02:34,072 --> 00:02:36,872
Thank you for undermining
my bargaining power, babe.

60
00:02:39,934 --> 00:02:41,435
Hmm.

61
00:02:41,908 --> 00:02:45,441
That's kinda cool. Sam loves fruit art.

62
00:02:45,508 --> 00:02:46,808
Why is it upside down?

63
00:02:46,875 --> 00:02:49,609
It's because they're swingers.

64
00:02:49,676 --> 00:02:52,043
That's right. My son's a pervert.

65
00:02:52,110 --> 00:02:54,110
Oh, hey, man, uh...

66
00:02:54,176 --> 00:02:56,144
This is a pretty cool
upside down pineapple.

67
00:02:56,169 --> 00:02:58,336
Oh, are you into that?

68
00:02:58,361 --> 00:02:59,595
Sicko!

69
00:02:59,620 --> 00:03:03,921
A little, but honestly,
Sam really loves it.

70
00:03:04,112 --> 00:03:07,880
Really? Well,
isn't she full of surprises?

71
00:03:07,947 --> 00:03:09,346
She learned about it in college.

72
00:03:09,413 --> 00:03:11,047
I'll bet.

73
00:03:11,114 --> 00:03:12,648
Where did I go wrong?

74
00:03:15,781 --> 00:03:17,882
And now the chair is cold. Damn it.

75
00:03:17,949 --> 00:03:20,483
People don't understand
how nice a warm chair is

76
00:03:20,508 --> 00:03:21,700
when you don't have pants on.

77
00:03:21,725 --> 00:03:23,292
- You okay, buddy?
- Pete,

78
00:03:23,317 --> 00:03:25,616
it's not fair how much richer
Hetty is than the rest of us.

79
00:03:25,641 --> 00:03:27,692
Yeah, she throws around
her back rub wealth,

80
00:03:27,717 --> 00:03:29,051
but what are you gonna do about it?

81
00:03:29,118 --> 00:03:30,985
I don't know,
but we should do something.

82
00:03:31,052 --> 00:03:33,185
She sits here lording it over us.

83
00:03:33,252 --> 00:03:35,086
She's like those two old
rich guys from Trading Places.

84
00:03:35,153 --> 00:03:38,086
Oh, great flick.
Oh! Maybe I should choose it

85
00:03:38,153 --> 00:03:40,187
this week, when it's my turn
to pick TV time.

86
00:03:41,375 --> 00:03:42,442
That's it.

87
00:03:44,039 --> 00:03:45,355
TV time.

88
00:03:45,422 --> 00:03:46,455
What... What about it?

89
00:03:46,522 --> 00:03:47,989
That's how I take Hetty down.

90
00:03:48,056 --> 00:03:51,323
Yes, she's been around a long time,
but I was a Wall Street whiz kid.

91
00:03:51,390 --> 00:03:54,291
And you just gave me an idea
for a new financial instrument.

92
00:03:54,357 --> 00:03:56,090
It's simple as long as you
understand the basic principles

93
00:03:56,157 --> 00:03:59,392
of market power and the downward
sloping demand curve.

94
00:03:59,458 --> 00:04:01,392
Okay.

95
00:04:01,458 --> 00:04:04,660
Well, I'm out. But have fun.

96
00:04:06,294 --> 00:04:09,494
Hey, big fella, it's okay. I'm a friend.

97
00:04:09,519 --> 00:04:11,376
In Odin's name, how can you see me?

98
00:04:11,401 --> 00:04:13,069
I fell down some stairs

99
00:04:13,094 --> 00:04:14,395
and was technically dead
for three minutes...

100
00:04:14,461 --> 00:04:16,596
It's a whole thing... But who are you?

101
00:04:16,663 --> 00:04:19,363
I'm Bjorn.

102
00:04:19,430 --> 00:04:21,897
I'm from the land of Norvegr.

103
00:04:21,964 --> 00:04:24,964
I died on this property
many, many moons ago.

104
00:04:25,031 --> 00:04:27,565
Okay. Uh, well,
this is kind of a long shot,

105
00:04:27,631 --> 00:04:31,265
but I live nearby and I know
another Viking ghost, Thorfinn.

106
00:04:31,332 --> 00:04:32,976
Big man. Beard.

107
00:04:33,001 --> 00:04:34,108
Yes, exactly.

108
00:04:34,133 --> 00:04:35,433
Abandoned by his shipmates.

109
00:04:35,500 --> 00:04:37,234
Yes! Do you know him?

110
00:04:37,301 --> 00:04:40,101
It is he who I came looking for.

111
00:04:40,168 --> 00:04:43,435
You see, I am...

112
00:04:43,502 --> 00:04:44,660
his son.

113
00:04:48,485 --> 00:04:50,482
What is it? What must you tell Thor?

114
00:04:50,499 --> 00:04:53,101
Okay. Well, like I said, it's big news.

115
00:04:53,168 --> 00:04:54,503
I'm talking earth-shattering.

116
00:04:54,569 --> 00:04:56,071
Well, he might want
to sit down for this.

117
00:04:56,137 --> 00:04:57,806
- I-Is he sitting down?
- Yes, Jay.

118
00:04:57,873 --> 00:04:59,307
How do they sit on furniture?

119
00:04:59,374 --> 00:05:01,089
Wouldn't they just go through it?

120
00:05:01,114 --> 00:05:03,144
You said they just go
through walls, right?

121
00:05:03,211 --> 00:05:06,448
Whoa, this is gonna spin me
out for the whole afternoon.

122
00:05:06,515 --> 00:05:09,184
By the loins of Freya,
tell Thor the news!

123
00:05:09,251 --> 00:05:11,453
Okay, Thor. So, I went
over to the Farnsbys'

124
00:05:11,520 --> 00:05:15,524
and I met a ghost.
He was a Viking ghost.

125
00:05:15,590 --> 00:05:17,692
He was your son Bjorn.

126
00:05:18,694 --> 00:05:20,162
How do you know this name?

127
00:05:20,229 --> 00:05:21,964
I just told you I met him.

128
00:05:22,031 --> 00:05:24,534
Is impossible.

129
00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:26,702
You're saying that my son,
who I haven't seen

130
00:05:26,769 --> 00:05:29,539
in a thousand years,
has been two ship lengths away

131
00:05:29,605 --> 00:05:30,842
this entire time.

132
00:05:30,867 --> 00:05:32,608
I know, it's so crazy,

133
00:05:32,675 --> 00:05:35,344
but it's true. I would
never lie about this.

134
00:05:37,780 --> 00:05:40,249
You met my baby Bjorn?

135
00:05:40,316 --> 00:05:42,485
Well, he's all grown up now.

136
00:05:42,552 --> 00:05:46,522
Last I saw him, he was just a...

137
00:05:46,589 --> 00:05:47,623
...little boy.

138
00:05:47,690 --> 00:05:50,126
Bjorn, when I was your age,

139
00:05:50,192 --> 00:05:54,163
my father gave me this.

140
00:05:59,235 --> 00:06:02,238
And now I give it to you.

141
00:06:02,678 --> 00:06:06,175
May you spill the blood
of many Danes with it.

142
00:06:07,777 --> 00:06:12,281
Now say, "Goodbye, Father."

143
00:06:14,885 --> 00:06:17,621
Come on. You can do it.

144
00:06:17,688 --> 00:06:19,976
Say "Father."

145
00:06:20,001 --> 00:06:23,140
He's still too young to speak,
you know this.

146
00:06:28,265 --> 00:06:30,701
Then I shall hear it upon my return.

147
00:06:32,436 --> 00:06:36,506
But I never do hear him say "Father"
because I never return.

148
00:06:36,573 --> 00:06:39,042
Well, he came looking for you, Thor.

149
00:06:39,109 --> 00:06:42,212
All the way from the Old World.

150
00:06:42,279 --> 00:06:44,247
What if a wall were made out of couch?

151
00:06:44,314 --> 00:06:46,049
Would I not be able to go through that?

152
00:06:46,116 --> 00:06:49,119
Thor want to know everything.
Have so many questions.

153
00:06:49,186 --> 00:06:52,155
I thought you might, which is why
I asked a lot of questions.

154
00:06:52,222 --> 00:06:56,393
Okay, so, Bjorn was married.
He had three kids.

155
00:06:56,460 --> 00:06:58,395
You're a gramps, buddy!

156
00:06:58,462 --> 00:06:59,863
Who was his first kill?

157
00:06:59,930 --> 00:07:02,099
His first kill?

158
00:07:02,165 --> 00:07:03,634
I don't think we covered that.

159
00:07:03,700 --> 00:07:05,168
Okay...

160
00:07:05,235 --> 00:07:08,306
How many Danish heads did he
have lined up outside his cottage?

161
00:07:08,373 --> 00:07:11,676
Again, I didn't ask that, specifically.

162
00:07:11,743 --> 00:07:14,579
You call yourself journalist?
These are obvious questions.

163
00:07:14,646 --> 00:07:16,347
Oh, yeah, he's got you there,
Sam. Who, what, where,

164
00:07:16,414 --> 00:07:18,616
when, why, how many severed heads?

165
00:07:18,683 --> 00:07:20,084
These are the tools of your trade.

166
00:07:20,151 --> 00:07:21,919
Thor wish he could speak
to Bjorn himself.

167
00:07:21,986 --> 00:07:24,155
He's so close yet so far.

168
00:07:24,222 --> 00:07:25,890
I know. It's too bad that you don't live

169
00:07:25,957 --> 00:07:27,925
next door to your son
and then you could just, like,

170
00:07:27,992 --> 00:07:29,994
walk up to the property
line and talk to him.

171
00:07:30,061 --> 00:07:31,696
But the Farnsbys' is two doors over.

172
00:07:31,763 --> 00:07:33,232
Wait a minute.

173
00:07:33,257 --> 00:07:36,928
There may be a way
for them to speak. Follow me.

174
00:07:43,332 --> 00:07:44,776
Huh.

175
00:07:44,801 --> 00:07:46,069
Need help?

176
00:07:46,094 --> 00:07:48,730
Alberta, I know
it's your turn to choose,

177
00:07:48,880 --> 00:07:52,183
but I'll pay you 50 back rubs
to watch Bodices and Barons.

178
00:07:52,250 --> 00:07:54,033
Ugh, is that that boring
period piece drama?

179
00:07:54,058 --> 00:07:55,128
Boring?

180
00:07:55,153 --> 00:07:57,355
Did you not see the smoldering glances

181
00:07:57,422 --> 00:07:59,590
the baron shot at the
chambermaid last week?

182
00:07:59,657 --> 00:08:01,526
Shocked they can put
that on the television.

183
00:08:01,592 --> 00:08:05,297
Well, as exciting as that sounds,
I already sold all my TV time

184
00:08:05,364 --> 00:08:06,777
for the next month to Trevor.

185
00:08:06,802 --> 00:08:09,802
Oh, you did? So did I.

186
00:08:09,868 --> 00:08:12,604
I also sold Trevor my TV time.
It was part of some

187
00:08:12,671 --> 00:08:14,606
elaborate plan of his
I didn't understand.

188
00:08:14,673 --> 00:08:17,109
The plan's actually quite simple.

189
00:08:17,176 --> 00:08:19,244
I bought everyone's TV time.

190
00:08:19,311 --> 00:08:22,548
And now I have a monopoly
for the next month.

191
00:08:22,614 --> 00:08:25,050
And I'm gonna use it
to watch classic '90s

192
00:08:25,117 --> 00:08:28,854
figure skating rom-com
The Cutting Edge on repeat.

193
00:08:30,748 --> 00:08:35,260
Relax, relax. All you have to do is
buy your TV time back from me...

194
00:08:35,327 --> 00:08:37,062
at a huge markup, of course.

195
00:08:37,129 --> 00:08:40,165
Trevor, why are you doing this?

196
00:08:40,232 --> 00:08:42,000
To level the playing field.

197
00:08:42,067 --> 00:08:44,203
After this, I'm going
to have so many back rubs,

198
00:08:44,269 --> 00:08:46,672
it's gonna be like
Burke Williams in here.

199
00:08:46,739 --> 00:08:48,674
- What is that?
- Who's Burke Williams?

200
00:08:48,741 --> 00:08:50,242
- Is that a bank?
- You may not understand that reference,

201
00:08:50,309 --> 00:08:52,277
but trust me, it is apt.

202
00:08:52,344 --> 00:08:54,213
Hey, babe, check it out.

203
00:08:55,023 --> 00:08:57,191
See? Look. You can see the Farnsbys'

204
00:08:57,216 --> 00:08:58,584
top floor from this window.

205
00:08:58,609 --> 00:09:01,596
I noticed it recently after
Sass's tree got cut down.

206
00:09:01,621 --> 00:09:04,390
- Sorry about that, Sass.
- Oh, he's not here.

207
00:09:04,457 --> 00:09:06,459
Oh, okay, well, then, I am feeling...

208
00:09:06,518 --> 00:09:08,220
- Hetty?
- Let's not do this.

209
00:09:08,294 --> 00:09:11,097
So... how will Thor speak to Bjorn?

210
00:09:11,164 --> 00:09:14,267
Well, if you stand here, then I will
get Bjorn to stand by that window,

211
00:09:14,334 --> 00:09:15,835
then you two could yell at each other.

212
00:09:15,902 --> 00:09:19,506
Yes! I can yell at my son
the way my father yell at me.

213
00:09:19,572 --> 00:09:21,241
Except it would be out of love

214
00:09:21,307 --> 00:09:24,811
and not anger that I eat
all the ram's testicles.

215
00:09:24,878 --> 00:09:26,646
Okay. Be on this spot in one hour.

216
00:09:26,713 --> 00:09:30,683
We just need to figure out some excuse
to get into the Farnsbys' house.

217
00:09:30,750 --> 00:09:33,086
I'm sorry, did you say
"ram's testicles"?

218
00:09:33,111 --> 00:09:34,846
I don't even want to know.

219
00:09:34,871 --> 00:09:36,473
Is Norse delicacy.

220
00:09:36,623 --> 00:09:39,893
I wonder if Bjorn likes...
Did you ask him this?

221
00:09:39,959 --> 00:09:41,161
It didn't come up.

222
00:09:41,227 --> 00:09:43,630
Big surprise.

223
00:09:43,696 --> 00:09:46,299
375 back rubs for Friday night.

224
00:09:46,366 --> 00:09:48,868
400! Sold to Alberta.

225
00:09:48,893 --> 00:09:50,194
Yes! Oh...

226
00:09:50,219 --> 00:09:53,574
It's a steep price, but at least
I'll get my Jason Momoa fix.

227
00:09:53,641 --> 00:09:56,443
And we will be watching
certain scenes in slo-mo.

228
00:09:56,510 --> 00:09:58,813
Aka slo-Momoa.

229
00:09:58,879 --> 00:10:01,749
Not my best work, but I had
to get it out of my head.

230
00:10:01,816 --> 00:10:04,885
What if, instead of
bidding against each other

231
00:10:04,952 --> 00:10:07,888
and driving up the price,
we form a coalition?

232
00:10:07,955 --> 00:10:09,824
Utilize the power
of collective bargaining?

233
00:10:09,849 --> 00:10:11,084
Oh, like we form a union.

234
00:10:11,109 --> 00:10:13,611
I did not use the U-word.

235
00:10:13,761 --> 00:10:16,897
I am simply suggesting,
if we band together

236
00:10:16,964 --> 00:10:19,700
and agree not to buy any
TV time, it becomes valueless.

237
00:10:19,767 --> 00:10:21,068
And Trevor will have nothing.

238
00:10:21,135 --> 00:10:23,470
Okay. So,
what are we supposed to do, just watch

239
00:10:23,495 --> 00:10:24,814
The Cutting Edge over and over?

240
00:10:24,839 --> 00:10:27,341
The guy loses his peripheral vision
and can't play hockey

241
00:10:27,408 --> 00:10:29,343
but he can still figure skate?

242
00:10:29,410 --> 00:10:30,578
Doesn't make any sense.

243
00:10:30,644 --> 00:10:32,913
Okay, maybe we don't watch TV at all.

244
00:10:32,980 --> 00:10:34,448
Like the good old days, you know?

245
00:10:34,556 --> 00:10:37,459
Trivia, charades, sharing secrets...

246
00:10:37,484 --> 00:10:38,853
I don't like mustard.

247
00:10:38,919 --> 00:10:41,989
You won't be able to
last without TV time.

248
00:10:42,056 --> 00:10:44,391
You'll be back. You'll all be back.

249
00:10:44,416 --> 00:10:47,161
No, Trevor. Not if we stick together.

250
00:10:47,228 --> 00:10:49,164
Because together...

251
00:10:49,965 --> 00:10:52,634
...the power belongs to the people.

252
00:10:52,701 --> 00:10:55,570
Oh, I hate myself.
I really hated saying that.

253
00:10:55,637 --> 00:10:57,205
How's Thor's hair?

254
00:10:57,272 --> 00:10:59,376
What about scar, hmm?

255
00:10:59,401 --> 00:11:01,051
Thor, he's not gonna be able to make out

256
00:11:01,076 --> 00:11:03,411
those tiny details
from that distant window.

257
00:11:03,478 --> 00:11:06,248
But he also won't smell the wolf urine,
so it all evens out.

258
00:11:06,314 --> 00:11:08,383
Just so nervous and excited.

259
00:11:08,450 --> 00:11:10,719
Is biggest moment of Thor's life.

260
00:11:10,785 --> 00:11:12,554
What are you gonna
yell about with him first?

261
00:11:12,621 --> 00:11:14,656
I don't know, just...

262
00:11:14,723 --> 00:11:17,759
So many questions, I...
know so little of him.

263
00:11:17,826 --> 00:11:21,529
Well, Samantha made some notes
from the conversation. Let's see here...

264
00:11:21,554 --> 00:11:23,387
He lived in...

265
00:11:23,412 --> 00:11:26,176
unpronounceable town
with far too many consonants

266
00:11:26,201 --> 00:11:27,802
with his wife, Alma.

267
00:11:29,170 --> 00:11:32,073
No, that wrong. That name Danish. It...

268
00:11:32,140 --> 00:11:33,541
must be mistake.

269
00:11:33,608 --> 00:11:35,543
Oh, no, no, no.
No, that's what it says here.

270
00:11:35,610 --> 00:11:38,380
He had three children:
Magnus, Inger and Lars.

271
00:11:38,446 --> 00:11:42,918
But those also names of Danes.

272
00:11:44,053 --> 00:11:46,055
Oh, dear.

273
00:11:46,122 --> 00:11:47,890
Bjorn...

274
00:11:47,957 --> 00:11:49,258
married Dane.

275
00:11:51,360 --> 00:11:53,829
Is deepest betrayal.

276
00:11:55,298 --> 00:11:57,066
Bjorn is...

277
00:11:57,133 --> 00:11:58,434
traitor.

278
00:11:58,501 --> 00:12:00,369
Well, you know, so was Benedict Arnold,

279
00:12:00,436 --> 00:12:02,605
but he was still
a delightful dinner party guest.

280
00:12:02,672 --> 00:12:04,907
Thor, who cares who he married?

281
00:12:04,974 --> 00:12:06,242
Bjorn's your son.

282
00:12:06,309 --> 00:12:08,177
No.

283
00:12:08,244 --> 00:12:09,879
This is where you're wrong.

284
00:12:11,314 --> 00:12:14,961
Thor have no son!

285
00:12:16,037 --> 00:12:17,904
Well, this is gonna make
for an awkward reunion.

286
00:12:17,933 --> 00:12:18,588
Yeah...

287
00:12:20,505 --> 00:12:21,633
So, how long do you think
this is gonna take?

288
00:12:21,645 --> 00:12:23,282
I don't know, Jay. This is my first time

289
00:12:23,307 --> 00:12:26,197
having to get a ghost Viking
to a designated scream spot,

290
00:12:26,223 --> 00:12:28,594
where he will reunite with his
father after a thousand years.

291
00:12:28,694 --> 00:12:30,966
- Ballpark?
- Five minutes?

292
00:12:33,535 --> 00:12:35,005
Weird. It's open.

293
00:12:40,091 --> 00:12:41,561
Oh, my God, Henry, it's Sam and Jay.

294
00:12:41,628 --> 00:12:44,467
I told you. Hello, please come in.

295
00:12:44,535 --> 00:12:46,239
Hi, uh, we came to return your lamp.

296
00:12:46,305 --> 00:12:48,043
And I know you don't take returns...

297
00:12:48,109 --> 00:12:49,646
That is so cute.

298
00:12:49,713 --> 00:12:51,450
But you didn't have to make up an excuse

299
00:12:51,475 --> 00:12:53,329
to come to our little get-together.

300
00:12:53,354 --> 00:12:54,924
Oh, you have company.

301
00:12:54,949 --> 00:12:56,252
Uh, sorry to interrupt.

302
00:12:56,277 --> 00:12:58,562
Oh, no, no.
We're so glad you could make it.

303
00:12:58,587 --> 00:13:00,190
May I please use your bathroom?

304
00:13:00,215 --> 00:13:01,452
Yes. Yes, of course.

305
00:13:01,477 --> 00:13:03,581
And don't worry,
we won't start without you.

306
00:13:03,607 --> 00:13:05,378
Thanks.

307
00:13:06,650 --> 00:13:11,627
Come with us. Our friends will
be very excited to meet you.

308
00:13:12,538 --> 00:13:15,678
Everybody, this is our neighbor Jay
and he's here for the party

309
00:13:15,703 --> 00:13:18,877
with his wife, Sam, who's a blonde.

310
00:13:21,249 --> 00:13:24,188
Oh, how I hate the first
Wednesday of every month.

311
00:13:25,358 --> 00:13:28,498
Okay, so that's my house over there.

312
00:13:28,565 --> 00:13:31,471
Your father should be appearing
at that window at any moment.

313
00:13:37,284 --> 00:13:39,389
Oh, I see someone.

314
00:13:39,456 --> 00:13:43,063
Hello! Bjorn is here!

315
00:13:43,130 --> 00:13:45,669
It is Bjorn!

316
00:13:45,736 --> 00:13:49,010
Just a moment! Thor'll be right here!

317
00:13:49,076 --> 00:13:51,715
Tell him I'm very excited!

318
00:13:51,783 --> 00:13:53,420
He's equally excited!

319
00:13:53,487 --> 00:13:55,391
Of that, I can assure you!

320
00:13:55,457 --> 00:13:57,428
A Fin, I could live with that.

321
00:13:57,495 --> 00:14:00,268
A Swede, disgusting, but fine.

322
00:14:00,335 --> 00:14:01,905
But why Dane?

323
00:14:01,972 --> 00:14:04,377
Why you do that to me?

324
00:14:04,444 --> 00:14:06,783
Dude, Denmark is actually pretty cool.

325
00:14:06,849 --> 00:14:09,455
I mean, I've never been,
but I used to buy Whippets

326
00:14:09,522 --> 00:14:12,929
from a Danish guy at Dead shows
and he was really cool.

327
00:14:12,996 --> 00:14:14,967
Okay, Thor. It's showtime.

328
00:14:15,034 --> 00:14:16,805
Your son is waiting for you.

329
00:14:16,871 --> 00:14:19,009
I said I don't want to talk to him.

330
00:14:19,076 --> 00:14:21,548
Thor, he traveled
half the world and waited

331
00:14:21,615 --> 00:14:23,786
a thousand years just to find you.

332
00:14:23,853 --> 00:14:26,660
That's more work than I put
in to meet David Crosby.

333
00:14:26,727 --> 00:14:28,964
- Thor not care.
- Can you imagine

334
00:14:29,031 --> 00:14:31,436
the disappointment
he is going to feel right now

335
00:14:31,503 --> 00:14:32,906
if you abandon him?

336
00:14:32,973 --> 00:14:34,510
You are his father.

337
00:14:36,447 --> 00:14:38,251
- You're right.
- Oh...

338
00:14:39,121 --> 00:14:43,095
He is under the impression
that I am his father,

339
00:14:43,162 --> 00:14:44,967
so I will speak to him,

340
00:14:45,034 --> 00:14:48,775
and tell him he is no longer my son!

341
00:14:48,841 --> 00:14:52,115
Okay. It feels like you're
deliberately twisting my words.

342
00:14:53,452 --> 00:14:55,690
I miss Whippets.

343
00:14:58,095 --> 00:15:00,133
How are you doing, Trevor?

344
00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:02,872
Me? I'm awesome.

345
00:15:02,939 --> 00:15:04,676
Nine and a half Cutting Edges in,

346
00:15:04,743 --> 00:15:06,246
and it just keeps getting better.

347
00:15:06,313 --> 00:15:08,952
Are you sure? You look a little glum.

348
00:15:08,977 --> 00:15:11,182
Man just lost his peripheral vision.

349
00:15:11,207 --> 00:15:13,011
Of course I'm a little glum.

350
00:15:13,036 --> 00:15:14,773
But exclusively about that.

351
00:15:14,798 --> 00:15:18,741
Tell me, when you were alive...

352
00:15:20,611 --> 00:15:22,449
...why did you want to make money?

353
00:15:22,516 --> 00:15:23,551
Excuse me?

354
00:15:23,618 --> 00:15:24,855
Let's say you had not died

355
00:15:24,921 --> 00:15:26,859
tragically young and without pants

356
00:15:26,884 --> 00:15:28,637
and you had made
all the money you'd ever wanted.

357
00:15:28,662 --> 00:15:30,233
What would your life have looked like?

358
00:15:30,299 --> 00:15:31,970
Paint me a picture.

359
00:15:32,036 --> 00:15:34,609
Okay. Um...

360
00:15:34,675 --> 00:15:35,879
I'm in a glass-bottom pool

361
00:15:35,945 --> 00:15:37,983
on top of a skyscraper that I own,

362
00:15:38,049 --> 00:15:40,288
and Kid Rock is there
and he's deejaying,

363
00:15:40,355 --> 00:15:41,425
but not because I'm paying him,

364
00:15:41,491 --> 00:15:43,462
because he's just there

365
00:15:43,529 --> 00:15:45,299
and it happens spontaneously.

366
00:15:45,366 --> 00:15:47,103
And we have an epic party.

367
00:15:47,170 --> 00:15:50,678
And afterwards, I make love
to my wife, Tara Reid,

368
00:15:50,745 --> 00:15:54,787
and post-coitus, together,
we watch The Cutting Edge.

369
00:15:54,854 --> 00:15:56,156
Duh.

370
00:15:56,223 --> 00:15:58,128
It seems like money

371
00:15:58,195 --> 00:16:00,365
wasn't just about money, then.

372
00:16:00,432 --> 00:16:01,836
It was about friends.

373
00:16:01,902 --> 00:16:05,076
About having someone to share it with.

374
00:16:05,143 --> 00:16:06,379
I guess so.

375
00:16:06,446 --> 00:16:09,285
But now, your pursuit of wealth

376
00:16:09,352 --> 00:16:11,524
has left you all alone.

377
00:16:11,591 --> 00:16:14,865
Take it from someone
who actually was rich.

378
00:16:16,268 --> 00:16:17,904
It's lonely at the top.

379
00:16:19,140 --> 00:16:20,944
The question you have
to ask yourself is...

380
00:16:22,081 --> 00:16:23,483
...is it worth it?

381
00:16:29,162 --> 00:16:30,365
Hold up.

382
00:16:30,432 --> 00:16:31,868
You have a toy room, too?

383
00:16:31,935 --> 00:16:33,840
I love how excited you are about this.

384
00:16:33,907 --> 00:16:36,212
Sam thinks I'm a freak for having one.

385
00:16:36,279 --> 00:16:38,550
You know, I wasn't
into it at first, either.

386
00:16:38,616 --> 00:16:39,953
You just gotta play around a little bit

387
00:16:40,020 --> 00:16:41,423
till you find the ones you like.

388
00:16:41,490 --> 00:16:44,630
Can we trade wives?

389
00:16:44,697 --> 00:16:47,303
Uh, and on that note,
ladies and gentlemen,

390
00:16:47,369 --> 00:16:48,806
the time has come.

391
00:16:48,873 --> 00:16:50,944
Is this because I didn't breastfeed you?

392
00:16:54,619 --> 00:16:56,690
What you doin', Margaret?

393
00:16:57,658 --> 00:16:59,028
Oh, um...

394
00:17:01,233 --> 00:17:03,137
Ah.

395
00:17:03,714 --> 00:17:07,622
After some careful
consideration, I have decided

396
00:17:07,647 --> 00:17:09,184
to give everyone their TV time back.

397
00:17:09,250 --> 00:17:10,420
What's the catch?

398
00:17:10,445 --> 00:17:12,015
No catch.

399
00:17:12,040 --> 00:17:15,465
It's just, someone made me realize that
while money is important,

400
00:17:15,531 --> 00:17:17,302
it's not as important

401
00:17:17,369 --> 00:17:19,574
- as friendship.
- Aw.

402
00:17:19,641 --> 00:17:21,010
I had all the TV time in the world,

403
00:17:21,077 --> 00:17:23,248
I just didn't have anyone
to share it with.

404
00:17:23,315 --> 00:17:25,654
Alberta...

405
00:17:25,720 --> 00:17:27,859
I believe tonight's pick is yours.

406
00:17:27,925 --> 00:17:31,968
Aquaman. Then, if there's time,
select scenes from Game of Thrones.

407
00:17:31,993 --> 00:17:34,030
And you know the ones I'm talkin' about.

408
00:17:34,055 --> 00:17:35,959
Have a seat.

409
00:17:36,026 --> 00:17:38,565
Proud of you for learning the
right lesson, buddy.

410
00:17:38,632 --> 00:17:41,271
Alberta, I'll give you 200 back
rubs to watch Bodices and Barons.

411
00:17:41,338 --> 00:17:43,075
- Wait, what?
- Sold.

412
00:17:43,141 --> 00:17:45,139
Hetty, you didn't mean any
of that stuff you said to me?

413
00:17:45,164 --> 00:17:47,034
You just tricked me into
giving up my monopoly?

414
00:17:47,059 --> 00:17:48,111
That's right.

415
00:17:48,136 --> 00:17:49,196
And what about your speech?

416
00:17:49,405 --> 00:17:51,668
You said that friendship
was more important than wealth.

417
00:17:51,693 --> 00:17:54,333
No, I said you need
to ask yourself that.

418
00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:56,972
I have and I know the answer.
It's wealth.

419
00:17:57,039 --> 00:17:58,743
Oh, it's wealth.

420
00:17:58,809 --> 00:18:00,246
That's why she's the top dog.

421
00:18:00,313 --> 00:18:02,050
There's no low she won't stoop to.

422
00:18:02,117 --> 00:18:05,724
It's time to watch the baron
glance at his mistress.

423
00:18:05,791 --> 00:18:09,132
The glancing, oh,
how I love the glancing.

424
00:18:11,604 --> 00:18:12,774
Thor, wait...

425
00:18:12,799 --> 00:18:14,637
Bjorn! Are you there?

426
00:18:14,744 --> 00:18:16,916
Yes, I'm here!

427
00:18:16,983 --> 00:18:20,123
Thor, please don't say
something you can't take back.

428
00:18:20,190 --> 00:18:23,497
Bjorn! I have something to tell you!

429
00:18:23,564 --> 00:18:25,836
What is it, Father?

430
00:18:26,905 --> 00:18:28,375
Hello?

431
00:18:28,442 --> 00:18:29,811
Father?

432
00:18:30,914 --> 00:18:34,154
Come on, you can do it.

433
00:18:34,221 --> 00:18:37,127
Say, "Father."

434
00:18:37,462 --> 00:18:39,599
Hello?

435
00:18:39,666 --> 00:18:41,570
Father!

436
00:18:41,637 --> 00:18:43,875
Are you still there?

437
00:18:45,216 --> 00:18:47,124
I am here, son!

438
00:18:47,149 --> 00:18:49,721
What did you want to say?

439
00:18:49,788 --> 00:18:51,860
That...

440
00:18:51,926 --> 00:18:54,030
I love you!

441
00:18:54,098 --> 00:18:56,302
Thank you for coming to find me!

442
00:18:56,369 --> 00:18:57,906
I love you, too!

443
00:18:59,676 --> 00:19:01,113
Okay!

444
00:19:01,882 --> 00:19:03,519
Good talk!

445
00:19:03,585 --> 00:19:05,690
Yes. Yes, great talk!

446
00:19:06,826 --> 00:19:09,165
That's... That's it?

447
00:19:09,765 --> 00:19:11,770
- We gotta get out of here.
- Jay,

448
00:19:11,837 --> 00:19:13,207
the sweetest thing happened.

449
00:19:13,274 --> 00:19:15,679
Yeah? Do you think we can
climb out that window,

450
00:19:15,746 --> 00:19:16,915
or should we just jump?

451
00:19:16,981 --> 00:19:18,050
Can't we just go down the stairs

452
00:19:18,117 --> 00:19:19,453
and walk out the front door?

453
00:19:19,520 --> 00:19:21,057
Okay.

454
00:19:21,124 --> 00:19:23,462
Take my hand, close your eyes

455
00:19:23,529 --> 00:19:26,287
and whatever you do,
don't touch anything.

456
00:19:32,517 --> 00:19:34,510
Oh. We got an email from the Farnsbys.

457
00:19:34,561 --> 00:19:37,076
Apparently, we've been invited

458
00:19:37,142 --> 00:19:40,751
to their Christmas Toga Party this year.

459
00:19:40,817 --> 00:19:42,803
That is chilling.

460
00:19:44,204 --> 00:19:45,914
Sam. Hello?

461
00:19:45,939 --> 00:19:47,561
Sorry, just a little distracted.

462
00:19:47,586 --> 00:19:49,200
They steal silverware!

463
00:19:49,225 --> 00:19:51,741
- It's very important to know!
- Look, Thor.

464
00:19:51,808 --> 00:19:53,926
I think it's great you're
reconnecting with your son,

465
00:19:53,992 --> 00:19:56,706
but maybe you could do it
during daylight hours.

466
00:19:56,773 --> 00:19:58,096
Making up for lost time.

467
00:19:58,163 --> 00:20:00,844
You see, I realize
it is not Bjorn's fault

468
00:20:00,910 --> 00:20:02,863
that he married Dane.

469
00:20:02,930 --> 00:20:05,644
Children not born
with hate in their heart,

470
00:20:05,711 --> 00:20:09,352
they must be taught it and
I was not there to teach him.

471
00:20:11,868 --> 00:20:13,225
Night, babe.

472
00:20:13,291 --> 00:20:15,509
Now let's talk hygiene!

473
00:20:15,575 --> 00:20:17,396
Danes, very dirty!

474
00:20:17,462 --> 00:20:19,216
They never wash undercarriage!

475
00:20:20,187 --> 00:20:24,156
- Synced and corrected by synk -
- www.addic7ed.com -